2012 - Solved

By Leluu Multipass

If one were to type 2012 into google the sponsored link relays you to a multi-linguistic website offering a free book with proclamations and hand-waved evidence of fulfilled prophecy. Any rational person would read the final few sentences of the home page and quickly realize the true goal of this operation and how much horseshit is piled up in the process.

"...and realize that Ronald Weinland has been sent by God as His end-time prophet.
This book is primarily directed to the people of the three major religions of the world (Islam, Judaism and Christianity), whose roots are in the God of Abraham. Ronald Weinland has been sent to all three."

My first instinct is to ask how this even exists. Anyone can poor money into a bottomless pit, but for it to be a business venture that pit has to spit back more than you throw in. So, first step is to know the market; know your target audience. This is where it gets scary...

In 1997 and 2007 the Associated Press released surveys which revealed that 24%/25% of American adults anticipate the second coming of Jesus Christ within their lifetime. Sarah Palin is one of these people.


It gets even scarier when you look at a question in a poll conducted by Newsweek magazine in 1998. "Do you believe Jesus will return to Earth within the next one thousand years, or not?"

========= All ==== C ==== Non-C
Yes ............... 52 ....... 58 ......... 20
No .................. 19 ....... 14 ......... 46
Don't know ..... 29 ....... 28 ......... 34

674 of the 806 polled were christian [C].

The correct answer is no one can return from death. The next best answer is there is no way of knowing when. But all jokes aside... as idiotic as the concept may be, this man Ronald Weinland is really a genius for cultivating such ignorance. Even if one were to subtract say 10% (which is absurdly high) for combined question/counting/sampling expansion error, you have a HUGE target audience.

This goes for all 2012 hysteria/hype. If you dig deep enough you'll find that behind all the prophetic movements there are selfish motives which completely discredit all the hearsay and horseshit.

So what will happen on December 21st, 2012 11:11 GMT? The short answer is absolutely nothing. The long answer is this:


This is galactic alignment. The earth and sun on this solstice will be lined up with the Milky Way's equator, although not perfectly. Actually... although this equator is arbitrary due to the non-uniform clumping of stars, this "perfect" alignment was actually observed in 1998. In fact, the sun crosses the galactic plane twice every year, only recently coincidentally near the solstices. The Mayan 26,000 year cycle describes the movement of the solstice position around our sky. Every 26,000 years there is a 36 year period where due to the precession of the earth, the December solstice sun crosses through the galactic equator. This began in 1980 (1998 - 36/2) and will end in 2016. This is the "2012 period" and was remarkably well estimated by the Mayans, and the difference in dates is simply due to the arbitrary nature of the equator.

But wait...
it's Jesus!


If you want a good laugh you should read Weinland bio page.

Students Lose when Parents Decide

by Rasta Pasta



It was Career Day at America School and the classrooms were filled with an eclectic mix of students and parents. The parents were there to speak about their professions; to represent the endless possibilities on a path of valued education. A firefighter stood in-front of one classroom and spoke of the excitement and danger that he faces everyday. He shared stories of fighting wildfires, the brotherhood between his colleagues, and taught the stop-drop-and-roll. He ended his speech by addressing the students, “If you study hard, you can be anything you want to be; a firefighter like me, or even the President of the United States.” The students and parents applauded. The teacher thanked him on behalf of everybody present. The parents all nodded in agreement. Next, a doctor spoke of long shifts and difficult surgeries, but how ultimately the reward of being able to save a life makes everything worthwhile. She let the students use her stethoscope to hear their heartbeats, and concluded by saying, “if you work hard and receive a good education, you can be anything you want to be; a doctor like me, or the President of the United States.” The teacher thanked her for taking time out of her busy schedule to speak. The parents nodded in agreement. Then, the President stood up and picked up where the doctor had left off. He began by saying, “By valuing your education, any one of you can be like me, the President of the United States.” His words were met with silence. The classroom was empty. The parents had removed themselves and taken the kids with them.