The other day I was describing to Rasta Pasta how pleased I was with the tints that I got for my car. As I was admiring her as she basked in the midday sun I realized that Lois, my car, is a lot like a woman. Even choosing a car is like picking someone up for the first time. Imagine if car dealerships were like night clubs for cars. You go over to the dealership and you look around for a car that you think is hot. No one goes to a dealership and thinks to themselves, “I’m gonna find a really ugly car”. Even when you are working with a small budget, the car you choose will be something you like. Similarly, if you go to the club you are looking for someone hot and you gotta work with the resources you have.
Once you’ve found the car that you are interested in being with. The first thing you want to do is get inside her on a regular basis, like a good woman. And the best way to do that is to take her on a date, a test drive or two, to make sure that you like the way she moves. After the date you still have to find some more information about the car before you commit to the relationship. So you’ll look up her history, carfax for a car or facebook for a girl. These resources can let you know if she crashed, had multiple partners, and any other problems that you’d rather not be yours.
After she’s purchased, you introduce her to all of your friends (If she’s hot). Every guy secretly likes it when their girlfriend is hotter than other guys’ girlfriends, and it works the same way with cars. Cars are also like women when it comes to issues regarding money. The more money that you spend on your car on a regular basis to keep her happy, the better she’ll make you feel. Neglecting a car or a woman will bring you undue hardship and before you know it she could even be breaking down on you.
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