North Korea Attacks US, South Korean “Space”

Written by: Rasta Pasta

Real people in every corner of the real world have been shocked, shivered, and pissing their pants at the pretense that North Korea may be on the verge of birthing World War III. Now, some sources believe that cyber people have reason to fear as well. South Korean media sources are pointing the finger at North Korean “cyber warfare units” as the culprit behind recent attacks on United States’ and South Korean government websites.

(above) North Korea's Great Leader, Kim Jung-Il, looking fashionable in his North Face Windbreaker and dead Chewbacca hat

The supposed cyber space attack follows a disturbing trend of provocation by North Korean forces that include: the launching of a deadly “communications satellite” -which in Korean translates to Intercontinental Ballistic Missile- meant to broadcast terrible Korean soap operas to the free world; the capture and imprisonment of US journalists Euna Lee and Laura Ling–who were later forced to dance the “Thriller”; the renunciation of the cease-fire armistice that ended the Korean War and popular television show M*A*S*H; the vocal opinion that additional UN sanctions, boat inspections, or annoyance by Whale Wars operatives would be viewed as a declaration of war; and finally the launch of yet more missiles - or “short range communication satellites” in Korean.

(right) Laura Ling dances to "Thriller"; she is in the third row, second from the right wearing orange. Unfortunately Euna Lee was not good enough for the final round of auditions

Ogre McOgreson, a World of Warcraft devotee, had this to say about the latest harassment by North Korea: “When will enough be enough? I spend 26 hours a day in my bomb shelter (garage at Mom’s house) in the Warcraft World to escape the horrors of the real world, and now I learn that I have to fear, not only for my physical being, but also for the part of me that really matters, my WoW avatar: Windsurfertreesexogremage. If I had my way, I would end things once and for all; by organizing an epic game of Starcraft (South Korea's National Sport) between the number one South Korean megastar: JaeDong, and one of Kim Jung-Il’s many Strarcraft -and Friends reruns- addicted sons, to settle the rightful owner of Korean soil.”

While Ogre McOgreson’s proposal for world peace may raise a few eyebrows, this blogger was too busy watching terrible Korean soap operas to take notice. It is yet to be revealed where North Korea’s next move will be. Some speculate that after an attack on the real and cyber worlds, logic points to the next attack falling on Furniture World.

In other news: Kim Jung-Il reinvents laughing.

Watch a good example of a terrible Korean soap opera